Because I don’t have the patience to play politics with publishers (big or small), so I’m giving it away for free by publishing the true story of my so-called not-a-life on the inter-not. Castaneda might call it the "not doing" of getting my book published.  But "for free" doesn’t mean "for nothing." My not-a-novel is an IMPORTANT not-a-guide to all those who wander, an indispensable not-an-instruction-manual on how to barely survive as bully bait in a shark tank.

...for this rare and under-rated opportunity to read the amazing not-a-novel by Aspergers Ally, Luther Rangeley. Your donation will be used to support an unemployed person in a third-world country, namely me, while I complete the sequel, AIR CAR PIZZA.

Cover Art:: 19th-century lithograph, British Museum, London. From Chinese Mythology by Anthony Christie, © 1968, revised ed. 1983, New York: Peter Bedrick Books, p. 55: "Pangu, bearing in his hands the egg of Chaos, which is composed of the symbols of yin and yang, and from which he was born. Pangu lived for eighteen thousand years, growing at the rate of ten feet a day and filling the space between Heaven and Earth."

"Joy" © 1972 Harry Nilsson

"If I Am Not at the Roll Call" by George L. Boyden, © 1917 George L. Boyden Music Publishers

"Teach Your Children" by Graham Nash, © 1970 Giving Room Music Inc.

"Here Comes Peter Cottontail" © 1950 Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins

"Aqualung" © 1971 Ian Anderson

"Life Gets Teejus, Don’t It?" © Carson Robison

"Open the Door, Richard" words by Dusty Fletcher and John Mason, music by Jack McVea and Don Howell, © 1946

"Pissin’ in the Wind" © Jerry Jeff Walker

Quote from The Fellowship of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien, © 1954, 1965, 1966 J. R. R. Tolkien; 1954 copyright renewed 1982 by Christopher R. Tolkien, Michael H. R. Tolkien, John F. R. Tolkien, and Priscilla M. A. R. Tolkien; 1965 & 1966 copyright renewed 1993 & 1997 by Christopher R. Tolkien, John F. R. Tolkien, and Priscilla M. A. R. Tolkien

"Heaven" © 1979 David Byrne and The Talking Heads

"This is All I Ask" by Gordon Jenkins, © 1958 by Anne-Rachel Music Corp. & Massey Music Co., Inc., All rights administered by Chappell & Co., Inc. (Intersong Music, Publisher)

"Evil" by Willie Dixon, © 1956 Hoochie Coochie Music (BMI) adm. by Bug; © 1960 Arc Music Corp.

Maxwell Zdaemon Gets A Job © 2005 by ANONYMOUS 48 year-old pizza dude

First, I must apologize to my Mama and my Daddy for the entirely almost completely fictional content of Chapters 3 and 4, which I invented and pieced together from pseudo-memories belonging to myself and others, from gossip and speculation, and from my own twisted and misguidedly wishful thinking.

This is a made-up piece of non-fiction, and has nothing to do with anyone I ever knew, living or dead. Anybody who thinks I have misrepresented them as one of the bozos reviled herein is welcome to contact my attorney to make arrangements to sue me for wanting to make fun of myself.

Once you have done away with your protective anonymity, which I have provided you with in this 100% made-up fictional not-a-novel by changing your name, I hope you are satisfied with the infamy you gain thereby, because it’s all you’re gonna get out of me; I don’t have a pot to piss in anyway, and I didn’t write this book for the money, I just did it as a joke, and to exorcise a severe cramp from my empty shell.

So if you spill your own beans by telling the world that you’re one of the bozos in this book, the joke’s on you.

I. Maxwell Zdaemon

ADDED NOTES BY LUTHER RANGELEY, 2008

On second thought, many apologies seem due to the many people I so meanly mistreated in the process of writing this book several years ago when I thought I was dying of anger.  Especially my parents who are not the people presented herein but rather two of the kindest and most sincere people I've ever met.  The parents I write about in here are the parents in my fantasies of the moment, and that's what this book is about: my INNER experience at the unending task of being me.  So anyone that seemed to impinge on that experience has tended to get sucked into the whirlpool of the incessant whining I thought was funny when I wrote this.

This 600 pages of sarcastic self-indulgence is being offered mainly to those who should study Asperger Syndrome for some reason.  Aspergers is a type of autism and the greatest value of this book--to anyone other than me--is that I had no idea I was autistic when I wrote it and had never heard of aspergers.  So unlike the many memoirs available written by autistic people, this one is an objective study of the syndrome written by someone who was not trying to fit himself into that mold.  But those who are in the know will find aspergers on every page.  Which to me is a validation of the diagnosis itself, which skeptics want to call "the flavor of the week" in the menagerie of psychobabbloid excuses to not function properly as modern Americans.

Well don't get me started on that...

Luther